Sunday, 25 September 2011

The Wire-frame


I have a theory. Something that is untested, yet it's there.

Human existence is built on a wireframe, a set of rules and regulations that mold and form us. Each person has their own frame and mold obviously, but the point is, there is one. Eye colour. Hair colour. Skin tone. Teeth. Hands and Feet. They are all predefined characteristics.

Is there really a thin person in me screaming to get out? Or is there really just a fat person inside me happy for who he is? Happy to be alive. We hate ourselves. Change ourselves daily. Whether it is physically or mentally. I don't like the colour of my hair, so I change it. I don't like the way I smile, so I stop altogether. As much as I want to change, or try and change, I cannot get away from my wire-frame. My base programming that has dictated these element of myself.

Should I not just accept who I am? With hair the colour of a scrotum, and eyes that love to look at each other. Must I fight to become this perfect model of a human being, when in actually fact, we are all the perfect models of human beings? We are each unique to our wire-frame. Would life not be a much easier life to live if we all accepted this fact and loved ourselves?

We cannot borrow someone else's wire-frame, or permanently change it. Many have tried. Many failed facelifts and body lifts later, personal trainers, diets and pills. So many have tried to permanently alter their frame and never got it right. Nature takes over, and fights it's own fight. Ladies and gentleman of the world at large. Let's look in the mirror, see our frames, look at it carefully. Touch it and feel it all over. learn to recognize the imperfection for it's utter perfection, and recognize that you are the only person who has our frame.

Yours in extreme love!
Ray

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

William Blake - Auguries of Innocence

 Exracts from my favourite William Blake poem:




To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

A robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage.

A dove-house fill'd with doves and pigeons
Shudders hell thro' all its regions.
A dog starv'd at his master's gate
Predicts the ruin of the state.

A horse misused upon the road
Calls to heaven for human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted hare
A fibre from the brain does tear.

Every wolf's and lion's howl
Raises from hell a human soul.

The wild deer, wand'ring here and there,
Keeps the human soul from care.
The lamb misus'd breeds public strife,
And yet forgives the butcher's knife.

He who shall hurt the little wren
Shall never be belov'd by men.
He who the ox to wrath has mov'd
Shall never be by woman lov'd.

The caterpillar on the leaf
Repeats to thee thy mother's grief.
Kill not the moth nor butterfly,
For the last judgement draweth nigh.

He who shall train the horse to war
Shall never pass the polar bar.
The beggar's dog and widow's cat,
Feed them and thou wilt grow fat.

The poison of the honey bee
Is the artist's jealousy.

The prince's robes and beggar's rags
Are toadstools on the miser's bags.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.

It is right it should be so;
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro' the world we safely go.

Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.

The babe is more than swaddling bands;
Every farmer understands.
Every tear from every eye
Becomes a babe in eternity;

This is caught by females bright,
And return'd to its own delight.
The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar,
Are waves that beat on heaven's shore.

The babe that weeps the rod beneath
Writes revenge in realms of death.
The beggar's rags, fluttering in air,
Does to rags the heavens tear.

The soldier, arm'd with sword and gun,
Palsied strikes the summer's sun.
The poor man's farthing is worth more
Than all the gold on Afric's shore.

One mite wrung from the lab'rer's hands
Shall buy and sell the miser's lands;
Or, if protected from on high,
Does that whole nation sell and buy.

He who mocks the infant's faith
Shall be mock'd in age and death.
He who shall teach the child to doubt
The rotting grave shall ne'er get out.

He who respects the infant's faith
Triumphs over hell and death.
The child's toys and the old man's reasons
Are the fruits of the two seasons.

The questioner, who sits so sly,
Shall never know how to reply.
He who replies to words of doubt
Doth put the light of knowledge out.

The strongest poison ever known
Came from Caesar's laurel crown.
Nought can deform the human race
Like to the armour's iron brace.

When gold and gems adorn the plow,
To peaceful arts shall envy bow.
A riddle, or the cricket's cry,
Is to doubt a fit reply.

The emmet's inch and eagle's mile
Make lame philosophy to smile.
He who doubts from what he sees
Will ne'er believe, do what you please.

If the sun and moon should doubt,
They'd immediately go out.
To be in a passion you good may do,
But no good if a passion is in you.

The whore and gambler, by the state
Licensed, build that nation's fate.
The harlot's cry from street to street
Shall weave old England's winding-sheet.

The winner's shout, the loser's curse,
Dance before dead England's hearse.

Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born,
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.

Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.

We are led to believe a lie
When we see not thro' the eye,
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.

God appears, and God is light,
To those poor souls who dwell in night;
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.

Monday, 19 September 2011

TIME by M.K Ntuane

The reInterpr8 of Time


Some say that it’s the fabric of our existence, the life blood of the earth
It’s been with us forever, from our day of birth
And without the ever present hour, ticking of the clock
We would not know where to be, what to do ..SHOCK!
Meetings, schedules, eat and sleep
Remembering the appointments we have to keep
Must we be governed by the clock upon the wall?
And without time will the world fall?
No tick, no tock, no alarms, no hurry
Go to work, hit the gym, relax, and enjoy that Mcflurry
When a loved one has passed, you get upset for the time you didn’t spend
Holding their hand, brushing their hair or the final visit before the end
So time is yelled at, cursed and sobbed over too
You blame it for the things you never got to do
Time is like a movie and our lives are just the plot
You have the power to control it, never think that you cannot
Time! Our much loved enemy that lives inside a clock
We will always hear your heart beat, the tick and the tock.

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Silverstein - Broken Stars



Shooting daggers at me, letting it be known you're not impressed. I never fail at failing all your tests. Don't be so proud, 'cause you're still so scared to be alone. And you can't change your mind. You won't embrace this, but you'll accept it. You can't let go. Broken stars by a single shattered mirror, seven years of trust. I know you'll never change for anyone. A gold heart never rusts. My mind's made up and now I know I'll do the right thing, get up and stand tall. My mind's made up. Why am I scared I won't be able to get up when I fall? We cast a single shadow for so long now it's so hard to see the sun at all. But you need light to see the writing on the wall. My mind's made up and now I know I'll do the right thing, get up and stand tall. My mind's made up. Why am I scared I won't be able to get up when I... Fall into the hole I've made, I'll brace myself alone. I'll find the strength within myself to climb out on my own. These broken stars can't be put back in the sky. I can still feel the scars. I won't let them die. We won't fade away. And now we will set this all ablaze.

Friday, 9 September 2011

Tension & the effects!



So after this week of absolute manic work, and 16 hour workdays, I am now finished. Done.
Believe me, I am tired as a slut playing around in a field of vibrators for a weekend.

The tension in my shoulders are epic, they are constantly aching. HOWEVER, my two biggest deadlines have come and gone, and the work was done to absolute splendor as expected. I am very proud of myself now. As I rightly deserve to feel. So now the tension has slacked, I am smiling again... there is a catch. As there always is.

All my other deadlines have been moved up as a result of the massive projects, so today, this Friday, I was supposed to catch up on work. Which I was completely ready for this morning. Now however, I dont want to work. I just want to relax and browse the internet and talk crap with Veronica (see previous posts) and just be. Not work. Just be.

I think I deserve it no? After putting in so much in the last 2 weeks? Yes? Yes!

So this is the shit with this tension, if I still had the intense pressure and fear of missing deadlines, I would have been working on the other projects as we speak. So now that the tension has been released, I am so not interested in my other work. How screwy is that.

HAHAHA! I don't care. No-one is going to rush my victory lap. My celebration with Lindt and coffee!

A toast and snack to the ones who have made it through! Stretched and pulled to the limit maybe, but survived. Take that victory lap. Pat yourself on the back. You deserve it. Thoroughly!

Power to you all!
Ray

Sunday, 4 September 2011

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

To the great who has past, but still lives on!




Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality
Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go, Little high, little low
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama, just killed a man, Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh, Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time
Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooh, I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning me
(Galileo.) Galileo. (Galileo.) Galileo, Galileo figaro
Magnifico. I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let me go.) Will not let you go
(Let me go.) Will not let you go. (Let me go.) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(Oh mama mia, mama mia.) Mama mia, let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here

Nothing really matters, Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me

Any way the wind blows

Thursday, 1 September 2011

Veronica

A picture of balance and beauty. As is not always the case with Veronica! (Jokes!)


So I have this colleague at work, her name is Veronica. Let me explain about Veronica. She is a special soul for me. At first I don't think she liked me very much, but eventually I grew on her like a barnacle. We give each other such hell on a daily basis, insults flying left and right, but we smile at the end. Okay, once she did make me cry, but that's okay. (Remember that V? Mmmm?) Laugh out SERIOUSLY loud! She refers to the gay community as "the gays", and although I was not sure what she implied by this, I realised that she was only joking and meant it well. She just does not have much experience with the gays... You must see her expression when I start talking about the things that the gays do. She closes her ears and starts humming the Parlotones! It really is something to behold!

I think what makes myself and Veronica work as a team is that I allow her to be herself, to say what she needs to, rant if she wants to and be the voice of authority when she needs to. She in turn does the same for me, on a daily basis. She allows me to be who I want to be and express what I want to express at any moment in time, and will offer caution or advise if she sees that I am getting negative. V has strong views and opinions and simply ADORES to tell no one about them. That's where our relationship comes in handy. We share. Since she is a mother, she does have this effect of making you feel like you've been scorned by your own mother. She has crazy eyes!

From the many late nights at work talking about love, men, husbands, break-ups and hook-ups, advice being given and discussed, to just having a cup of coffee and talking crap for an hour. I must confess that I miss Veronica when she is not at work. She brings an energy to the area that no one can replace. Wise as a grandmother, but not a day older than 35! (Inside joke!)

The shit we've spoken about. Goodness. I hope they do not record our conversations. We would be fired! Good times. Valued memories. Awesome woman!

"Dear Veronica,


I write you this letter to say thank you. Thank you for being the person you are for me. A friend. A shoulder to cry on. A mentor to rely on. A psychologist and therapist. For the boxes of tissues, the endless cups of coffee and the late nights at work. You catch my jokes and give a quiet giggle when no-one else does, and even though you refer to me as "one of the gays", I know you mean the best. Although i'm sure you would deny it! (SMILES)


Thank you Veronica, for being the person you are. Flawed but perfectly so. Shy but loud. Submissive yet dominant. Proudly Veronica."

We all need someone like Veronica in our lives, be it at work or at home. Someone to call you on your bullshit and tell you why you're wrong. Stern face, motherly face, but soft heart. You are one in a million V!

You rock!
Ray