Surrender

A very much uncommon sight in South Africa. An interracial couple.
It is not about the person, it is about embracing the love.

“You can never truly know love, until you surrender completely too it.”

I have always liked this quote, I have told it to others often. But I never understood what it really meant. “Surrender completely too it. “ In this age, this the modern age, the age of enlightenment, we are more than often than not so damaged, so hurt by others, that when we allow ourselves to surrender to love, make ourselves truly vulnerable to another, we are betrayed, our hearts broken, on faith shattered. The result of this is catastrophic, we have become guarded. Shielded by our fear. Locked away in our chests. Intent on not coming out and risk getting hurt. How can someone surrender to love, when our fear of surrendering to it, is so strong. Almost primal. How can we as a species learn our true capacity for love when we believe the risks are too much?

How can a shattered heart be mended, when the pieces are locked away so tightly, so well guarded? Trust another. Trust a true soul. Allow your broken pieces to be put together by another. Listening to one’s heart has become old fashioned, believing in the path the soul has mapped out for you, has instinctively become ignored. Listening to one’s mind, the fear that roams there, the sanctity of logic, where all the answers, all the rationalizations are your own. Made by your mind. Crafted. Molded. Ruled by fear.

Surrender: “transitive verb to relinquish possession or control of something. Strong emotional response to uncontrollable situation”

There it is. The root of the problem. The crux of the matter. Control. Giving up control. Humans are not very good at giving up control, even if it is a fraction of control.  We have lost trust.

Love: “transitive and intransitive verb to feel romantic and sexual desire and longing for somebody or to feel tender affection for somebody. The strongest emotions. ”

Romance? Sexual Desire? Longing? Tender affection? The strongest of emotions. Sexual desire is something that we all know too well. Do we often misinterpret sexual desire as love? A new trend has developed. There is no more dating. There is no more romance. There is no more affection. “Love” has become sexually driven. Then the sexual attraction fades. And we “fall out of love”. What is wrong with the world? What has happened to first dates, second dates, many dates? Getting to know someone. Touching hands for the first time? That spark. That feeling. That tingle in the pit of your stomach. The first kiss. Learning the person. Getting to know them? A kiss goodnight, and the sadness of hearing the car door slam, and that person driving away.

Surrender to Love. Allowing someone, trusting someone enough, to allow them to have the control over your emotions. A person who can hurt you with one word, or make you smile with just a look. Trusting someone enough to share your life with them. To share the darkest truths. The brightest days, the darkest nights. The sunshine, the rain. Laughs and cries.

For those who have been lucky enough to experience true love, the kind of love that hurts when you are not around it, love that makes you tickle when you are around it, and love that makes you want to sing when you are enclosed in it, I envy you. Truly envy you.

I understand now. What it means.

“You can never truly know love, until you surrender completely too it.”