Things & stuff

I have long since been a collector of sorts, a hoarder, an appreciator of things and stuff that have personal value to me - items that have a sentimental value and have somehow played on my heartstrings. That is all good and well, however when those things become a burden, a reminder of a painful time is it time to let go? Do you have to let it go and let it be? Give up on the stuff?

Let me explain what I hoard: The things & stuff that I hold on to the strongest are memories, or items that invoke a memory that I never intended to forget. I write down important dates in my diary. I collect seashells so that I do not forget what the ocean looks like. I hold on to trinkets that were given to me by the man I love, to remind me of the love we have. Some stuff I hold on to even if they remind me of a painful time, as a constant reminder of growth and getting over the pain. I have so many things & stuff that remind me of the past - both good and bad.

Here is the problem with this nagging little flaw of mine: The more I hold on to my things & stuff, my memories so carefully collected, the more I distract myself from living in the present. When times are difficult I look at a thing to cheer me up and take me back to a happier time instead of dealing with the difficult time. When I am happy and in a good place, I run the risk of looking at a thing that will remind me of the pain I have suffered, completely bringing on a downer. These things & stuff have so much power over my life - it is actually concerning!

One evening when times were tough, I surrounded myself with all my things & stuff. All the happy times and bad times alike. A complete abundance of memories to keep me company when I feel alone. Suddenly I realised what I had managed to do with my life - I have built a cage of memories. A prison of reminders. Why would I do this to myself. Why would I allow these objects and things to have such power in my life, such a large degree of control and influence? Most of the trinkets have no real financial value, so I cannot even use that as an excuse - it was pure memory.

There I sat with tears flowing down my face as I started to destroy and remove each one of my trinkets. One by one I remembered its relevance and moved on - disposing of the thing when I was done. I was letting go. I had to let go for my own peace of mind, for my future. If my head is too full of the past how can I have room for the future? How can I grow when I have held on to old pain?

The result of my cleansing evening was a feeling of freedom. A feeling of being able to have a better and brighter future. I have more control now. I have taken back my power. My diary shall be the only evidence of my past. Will be the only trace of events past. Not in a bad way, not in a way to hold on, but purely as a reference for me should I feel the need to call on it.

It is amazing what joy or pain that can be given by a simple note that says: I love you
An ocean of happiness or a sea of pain can ensue and consume you for those moments. How much power is given to things & stuff.

To all those who have given some of their power away - may 2013 be the year of change for you. May it be a year where you get your power back - as you deserve.

Yours
Ry