Monday, 17 November 2014
Sunday, 9 November 2014
A church story
A church story
This story is not like the other church stories you may have heard as a child, no this is a special story for me. The words are fresh in my mind, as if they are being spoken time and time again. I can so clearly see the picture in my mind.
It is not a story that is particularly inspiring, but it is about an inspired person. Many lessons can be learned. Many lessons are gained. Love and hope. Faith and love. Healing and death.
Once upon a full moon night, in a country by the sea a young man is walking the dark streets. Guided by the light of the moon. The perspiration is running from his face and down his back and chest, because you see this country is very hot. The young man’s mind is racing at a pace yet discovered, many thoughts darting in and out, conversations and memories, anger and joy, a world of happening is happening inside his mind.
The look on his face however is serene and calm, you would not know the anguish this young man is feeling. His legs are strong and moving him along at a brisk pace, up and over hills and around corners. Bouncing over the holes in the road with a subtle grace for a man of such a large stature and body. On he walks, with his mind racing out ahead of him. His gaze is set ahead of him, like he is on a mission and this walk has a purpose.
He walks around the corner, looks up and stops dead in his track. His expression has changed to one of awe – the eyes of this young man betray him – there are tears. What he sees before him has enough impact to bring him to tears. Ahead of the young man stands the biggest effigy dedicated to Jesus on his continent, a towering structure of modern design, of creative implementation and amazing perspective. The sound of a car horn brings him out of his gaze and he starts to walk again, eyes fixed on the structure before him.
The gate stands open and he walks in. Unknowing of the dangers perhaps lurking inside, he is being led into the property, towards the towering monument, guided by a hand far greater. It is like he knows the road he is to walk, he knows the route to where he needs to be. He turns one more corner and looks up, there it is in full view – what he has been waiting for. The monument stands before him and he stands by it’s base, by His feet.
By the light of the street and the full moon, you see this man fall to his knees. His body is shaking and his head is bowed. If you listen carefully, you head the quiet sobs of a man overcome by emotion. Perhaps all the thoughts that we racing have finally found an outlet. Thoughts of health, wealth, life, death, love, heartbreak, hope, giving up and questions for God – all laid to rest at the feet of Jesus. Quietly words are uttered. Many words. Many questions. Many feelings. A broken heart pounding in a strong beat.
Suddenly the night goes quiet, the roads lose their activity and the frogs stop singing to each other. A blanket was thrown over the church. Hiding it from the world around it – it is just the young man and God now in presence.
Slowly the young man looks up and sees a bright light before him, a figure of majesty comes forth and takes form from this light – Jesus had come to speak to him. “My fallen guardian, you are at your strongest and at your most vulnerable, a balance of love that is most painful. Is this not what you desired to learn and experience, why you came wanted to come down to this mortal earth and live? You have known a love stronger than the love for yourself, given yourself entirely to it and allowed it to creative the infinite balanced unbalance within you. Are you ready to come Home?”
The young man seemed unafraid and bowed his head once more to speak, “My Lord, I do not understand. This is not the life that I wanted. This is not the balance that I strive for. I do not understand.”
The Lord smiled and looked down, with an expression of love in his eyes and on the corners of his lips. Jesus spoke once more to the young man, “You will understand, Angelus. Look around and see your family waiting for you. Is that not why They made sure that you were always guarded, is that not why you were assigned a Guardian to protect you and the one you loved? Is that not why they take your body and do My blessings?”
The young man looked up and saw the Archangels all around them. Beckoning with their arms. Love on their faces.
The Lord and the young man continued to speak, surrounded by the Archangels. The world remained in a hushed town and the moon shone brightly down on them. It was a moment of blessing and understanding. Many tears were cried on that evening and watered the earth of the church grounds – purple roses will grow there. One by one the Angels departed until the young man was once again alone before Jesus, on his knees, it an infinite humble bow.
“You are ready, my Angelis, to come Home. The decision rests with you. In this world there is much love, there is much joy and there is much laughter – but there will also be much pain and much torment. You know who you are and where you come from. Death is a guarantee. Time is a gift. Love an honour. Love can be saved if love is strong. You can be saved from yourself, from this world, by the love you have and share. You are love, but you are human. Go now with My love – be strong and be proud. Go and love the one you chose with as much passion and strength within you. Go now, Angelus.”
The young man bowed and said, “Amen”. Once he looked up he saw only the structure before him, that monument stained by rain and worn by the elements. He hears the sounds of the city and the frogs in chorus. He had returned to the world. His journey is unclear; his health is still in question – yet he knows that he will not receive information about the future anymore, not of his own. Will he be around for another 60 years or 30 days? He cannot be sure. Nothing is certain.
Had he fulfilled a purpose in his life, so young and so early? Is there not more that must be done? God had given him the answers he asked – however, the answer is not what he expected to hear. His strength is infinite and strong as the waves of the ocean – he will continue to walk, continue to strive, until he cannot anymore.
Jesus has appeared to him when he as at his weakest and strongest at the same time. He dropped to his knees and prayed openly and honestly. Emptied his heart and mind to God, to His savour. Jesus answered. Jesus always answers the calls of His children, of that you can be sure. It may not be when you desire an answer, but it is always in the perfect time. Never doubt that timing. Death is the only guarantee but life is not. Love is the strongest force ever created. The choices we make create our future. We are all human, none at a higher standard than the other and we WILL make mistakes. Forgive easily, because you have made the same big mistakes in life. Pray.
The young man stood up from his knees and look around at the world, with the waves in the distance and the sound of cars. He wiped the tears from his cheeks and continued to walk, his broad shoulder standing tall and proud. His gaze on the horizon and a curl on the corner of his lips and purpose in his stride.
One things is for certain, nothing is for certain.
He is love. He is Angelus.
Every day is a new day.
Everything will be as it should be in the end.
He is love.
Angelus.
This story is not like the other church stories you may have heard as a child, no this is a special story for me. The words are fresh in my mind, as if they are being spoken time and time again. I can so clearly see the picture in my mind.
It is not a story that is particularly inspiring, but it is about an inspired person. Many lessons can be learned. Many lessons are gained. Love and hope. Faith and love. Healing and death.
Once upon a full moon night, in a country by the sea a young man is walking the dark streets. Guided by the light of the moon. The perspiration is running from his face and down his back and chest, because you see this country is very hot. The young man’s mind is racing at a pace yet discovered, many thoughts darting in and out, conversations and memories, anger and joy, a world of happening is happening inside his mind.
The look on his face however is serene and calm, you would not know the anguish this young man is feeling. His legs are strong and moving him along at a brisk pace, up and over hills and around corners. Bouncing over the holes in the road with a subtle grace for a man of such a large stature and body. On he walks, with his mind racing out ahead of him. His gaze is set ahead of him, like he is on a mission and this walk has a purpose.
He walks around the corner, looks up and stops dead in his track. His expression has changed to one of awe – the eyes of this young man betray him – there are tears. What he sees before him has enough impact to bring him to tears. Ahead of the young man stands the biggest effigy dedicated to Jesus on his continent, a towering structure of modern design, of creative implementation and amazing perspective. The sound of a car horn brings him out of his gaze and he starts to walk again, eyes fixed on the structure before him.
The gate stands open and he walks in. Unknowing of the dangers perhaps lurking inside, he is being led into the property, towards the towering monument, guided by a hand far greater. It is like he knows the road he is to walk, he knows the route to where he needs to be. He turns one more corner and looks up, there it is in full view – what he has been waiting for. The monument stands before him and he stands by it’s base, by His feet.
By the light of the street and the full moon, you see this man fall to his knees. His body is shaking and his head is bowed. If you listen carefully, you head the quiet sobs of a man overcome by emotion. Perhaps all the thoughts that we racing have finally found an outlet. Thoughts of health, wealth, life, death, love, heartbreak, hope, giving up and questions for God – all laid to rest at the feet of Jesus. Quietly words are uttered. Many words. Many questions. Many feelings. A broken heart pounding in a strong beat.
Suddenly the night goes quiet, the roads lose their activity and the frogs stop singing to each other. A blanket was thrown over the church. Hiding it from the world around it – it is just the young man and God now in presence.
Slowly the young man looks up and sees a bright light before him, a figure of majesty comes forth and takes form from this light – Jesus had come to speak to him. “My fallen guardian, you are at your strongest and at your most vulnerable, a balance of love that is most painful. Is this not what you desired to learn and experience, why you came wanted to come down to this mortal earth and live? You have known a love stronger than the love for yourself, given yourself entirely to it and allowed it to creative the infinite balanced unbalance within you. Are you ready to come Home?”
The young man seemed unafraid and bowed his head once more to speak, “My Lord, I do not understand. This is not the life that I wanted. This is not the balance that I strive for. I do not understand.”
The Lord smiled and looked down, with an expression of love in his eyes and on the corners of his lips. Jesus spoke once more to the young man, “You will understand, Angelus. Look around and see your family waiting for you. Is that not why They made sure that you were always guarded, is that not why you were assigned a Guardian to protect you and the one you loved? Is that not why they take your body and do My blessings?”
The young man looked up and saw the Archangels all around them. Beckoning with their arms. Love on their faces.
The Lord and the young man continued to speak, surrounded by the Archangels. The world remained in a hushed town and the moon shone brightly down on them. It was a moment of blessing and understanding. Many tears were cried on that evening and watered the earth of the church grounds – purple roses will grow there. One by one the Angels departed until the young man was once again alone before Jesus, on his knees, it an infinite humble bow.
“You are ready, my Angelis, to come Home. The decision rests with you. In this world there is much love, there is much joy and there is much laughter – but there will also be much pain and much torment. You know who you are and where you come from. Death is a guarantee. Time is a gift. Love an honour. Love can be saved if love is strong. You can be saved from yourself, from this world, by the love you have and share. You are love, but you are human. Go now with My love – be strong and be proud. Go and love the one you chose with as much passion and strength within you. Go now, Angelus.”
The young man bowed and said, “Amen”. Once he looked up he saw only the structure before him, that monument stained by rain and worn by the elements. He hears the sounds of the city and the frogs in chorus. He had returned to the world. His journey is unclear; his health is still in question – yet he knows that he will not receive information about the future anymore, not of his own. Will he be around for another 60 years or 30 days? He cannot be sure. Nothing is certain.
Had he fulfilled a purpose in his life, so young and so early? Is there not more that must be done? God had given him the answers he asked – however, the answer is not what he expected to hear. His strength is infinite and strong as the waves of the ocean – he will continue to walk, continue to strive, until he cannot anymore.
Jesus has appeared to him when he as at his weakest and strongest at the same time. He dropped to his knees and prayed openly and honestly. Emptied his heart and mind to God, to His savour. Jesus answered. Jesus always answers the calls of His children, of that you can be sure. It may not be when you desire an answer, but it is always in the perfect time. Never doubt that timing. Death is the only guarantee but life is not. Love is the strongest force ever created. The choices we make create our future. We are all human, none at a higher standard than the other and we WILL make mistakes. Forgive easily, because you have made the same big mistakes in life. Pray.
The young man stood up from his knees and look around at the world, with the waves in the distance and the sound of cars. He wiped the tears from his cheeks and continued to walk, his broad shoulder standing tall and proud. His gaze on the horizon and a curl on the corner of his lips and purpose in his stride.
One things is for certain, nothing is for certain.
He is love. He is Angelus.
Every day is a new day.
Everything will be as it should be in the end.
He is love.
Angelus.
Wednesday, 5 November 2014
Where is it...?
Now I sit here. With my head full of words and thoughts, my heart full of sadness - and I wonder why. I am in a new country, strange and unexplored as yet. So much to see. Little Paris with the head of Morocco. Fantastic food and new people. Your soul follows me around, always 2 steps behind. I see you everywhere. In the water and in the distance. Next to me when I sleep. My twin - our sparks of light. Where is my heart? It feels hollow inside my chest.
Truly blessed I am to be here - to experience the new and ways of life. An experience to remember. Amazing people encountered. New food that tantalises my tongue and mind. Yet I think so much of you. Are you okay? Feeling better? Are you happy or sad? Do you miss me, even a little? Is only your soul longing for me? I walk around and smile and marvel at the wonder that is this city - I wish I could see it with you. You would love it here.
My head is wondering around, between illness and health. The cause and effect of news yet understood. Have I been sick all this time, driving away the man who I loved and still love. Will he ever forgive me for acts done, and give understanding? What will become of me? Shall I perish alone? I hold back the tears and clear the thoughts in my mind. There is no answer yet, just demons whispering the doubts.
The local energy weavers are unhappy at my presence, they see me as a threat.
The weather changes as my mind thinks these things. I stop myself. Forcing only the light in my head. I shall love thee from a far - for what else can I do?
A grand adventure awaits - should I be able to leave the office! Work is so delayed.
I will make the most of my short time here.
I will eat the best food and drink the best beer.
I will enjoy the heat and sun.
To the adventure alone. To the adventure unknown.
I am strong.
Bring it.
Saturday, 1 November 2014
A conflicted heart
Today I get on a plane and go on a mini adventure all on my own - this will be my first. I am terribly excited and nervous. What will this new country and place hold for me? What treasures am I going to unlock and discover? Will my spiritual centre find balance and peace, or am I going into a warzone? I suppose only time will tell.
My heart, however, is not in a space of complete joy. There is conflict about health. mine and that of the man whom I love so much. Is there something in my brain, that has been causing me to be such a monster? Making it difficult to love me? Making it impossible to love me? Anxious I am for the news to reach me, but I will wait until I have achieved my adventure goal. Whatever the news, I will be strong and courageous, I will survive what I must and kick the ass of that which ails me.
I depart my country with the knowledge that the man in my heart is going through pain and anxiety about his own medical issues - such a wound to heal. Take care of yourself, dear man. Take the best possible care of yourself, rest a lot and allow God to heal what is broken. If I could have stayed I would have - but there is a purpose to everything.
Today I prove something to myself. Something deep inside me. That longing for freedom and travels. Today I prove to myself that I am capable of doing it on my own, of being by myself and enjoying the time in another country, to learn and grow.
To the journey, dear readers.
May it be an adventure.
Yours
Ry
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