Pain.

 

Is pain something that I will ever get away from?
I have been thinking about it a lot over the last week. My heart has felt like it was in a vacuum sealer.

Getting tighter and tighter. Less air. Less room to move. It blows chunks!

So here are the thoughts that have been going through my head:

Do I run away? Make a new home somewhere else, and forget about all those men who have broken my heart? Will that help though? Wont there just be more men somewhere else that will break my heart? Is it worth uprooting my life and job? No, I decided against it. I will feel better no doubt, but the cost is too great.

Now crawling into a hole and dying, THAT, sounds to me like a good plan! It's simple, easy and very effective! But wait, there's more... What if I loose myself completely in this hole? Then I will be cutting out everything and everyone else that I love, who has been there for me and not broken my heart? That wouldn't be fair really. So there went that bloody option!

Time. Give it time? Okay, I get where you coming from. It makes sense. That's how I got over the others. But that was so painful, giving me so much of that bloody time to think and feel crap. It did get less and less though. So it did work in the end. It isn't unfair towards anyone else, and I learned a lot. I'll give it a try, not that I really have a choice to be honest. Time will tick on regardless.

Write a blog? That's works! If anyone reads it, cool, if they don't, cool! I dont know them anyway.
This is my mind. My slightly twisted mind having it's escape.

I will give myself time, but I will still think of the other options, they do have merit! :)