My sadness, my strength

At long last I have remembered that I have this blog, and that have the ability to write on it. I have read my previous posts, reflecting on my life at those various stages of existence - and I marvel at how my life has changed and stayed the same.

A lot has changed, myself as a person probably the most. So much I have learned about myself, my behaviours and my emotions. Things I did not realise in the past - and have now accepted and am in the process of changing. The love that completed my life, I have had to part with - causing such a gap in my life that I cannot begin to completely understand.

Much has changed, and much has stayed the same.

I have known a love so strong, so utterly and completely devoted, a love so intensely felt that I lost myself in it - completely and entirely. It was a good love. A man who made me smile and made me cry. A man who gave me wings and helped me fly. Many mistakes made from both sides. Fatal mistakes. Nothing changed, so nothing changed. Down the path of eventuality we walked.

I miss this man who gave me such strong feelings of love and devotion. I am haunted constantly by memories, both happy and devastating - emotions that will linger for a lifetime. I am not ashamed to say that I am still very much in love with this man. However, I am wise enough to know that I have to let go for now - for the better of us both. Time is the ultimate conquerer, taking away many things and eventually life itself.

My prayers are filled with hope and love, with desire and forgiveness - yet my mind is slowly letting go, piece by piece, as is the natural and healthy way. I believe in God, in the destiny that God has planned for each of his children, and believe even more in the future that God has blessed me and gifted me glimpses of.

Much has to change, for something to be different. Actions and words should be in unity. Love will have to be strong. Faith and trust, overpowering. Is this possible? Yes. Inside all people is the potential to change, to become more than what was and what is - to become better than ever before. This is my dream for myself, to achieve my personal potential; to become the best version of myself always. Slowly, daily, life ticks on - things change, people change, I change.

Here is to the journey, fellow readers. Of change and circumstance. To forgiveness and love. To peace and harmony. To hope and faith.

To the journey!
Ry